Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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