When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
