he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
