I don't usually arrange sex via text message
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize