there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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