dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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