It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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