I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
