I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
