Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
