well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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