I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
