I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm bleeding and have questions
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