There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
