so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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