He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
