Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
