apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
