similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
