we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
