I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
