Plan B is the new Plan A
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
