Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
