i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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