My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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