I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
