I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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