woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
