once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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