I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize