Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There's even glitter on my cock...
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