Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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