I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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