Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
