My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
