I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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