Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
