Sponge bath it is.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
