That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
