wat bout pragnant strippers??
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
