I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
