It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
