Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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