...so i touched it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
