Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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