oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
