She's JV to your varsity
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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