it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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