he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
