would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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