and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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