what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this will be a night to untag.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
