4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
