ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
