Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
