The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
