It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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