K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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