and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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