you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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