I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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