so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
