so explain again why im purple
no
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
